How to Find Out Someone’s Birthday Without Asking Them

Published: 11 September 2023

Birthdays are special occasions, and sometimes, you just want to surprise a friend. But how do you do it without actually asking them what their birthday is? When you find someone’s date of birth, you can celebrate and make them feel valued while keeping your plans a secret. However, directly asking for someone’s birthday can sometimes be awkward or feel intrusive. Fortunately, there are many discreet methods to look up someone’s birthday for free without putting them on the spot. In this guide, we’ll explore how to find someone’s date of birth for free without asking them. 

birthday cake with candles

How to Find Someone’s Date of Birth

Ask Them!

This may sound contrary, but the best way to know a person’s birthday is to ask them. But we understand. Perhaps you are forgetful, and you do not know how to ask your partner or friend their date of birth. If this is the case, then continue reading for more discreet strategies.

Use Social Media

Check Their Social Media Profiles

The easiest way to discover someone’s birthday online is to check their social media profiles. Some people share their birthdays on their social media profiles, especially on Facebook. If your friend has a Facebook account, check it to see if you will see their birthday. Most people only reveal their birth month and day, but that’s all you need. 

Also, check their Instagram accounts for birthday posts. Many people celebrate their birthdays on Instagram. They take cute pictures and post them. If you have the time and energy, you can scroll through their IG pages. It’s usually much easier if you know the birth month. 

Analyze Their Friends’ Posts and Comments

Sometimes, friends and acquaintances may mention someone’s birthday in their comments or posts. You can check interactions with friends and friend’s posts to see if they ever celebrated this person. 

Wait for an Invite

Most people often have digital copies of birthday invites. While they may not invite you personally, you should get the date of birth from the invite. If you’re connected on social media, you may receive event invitations or see their RSVPs to the events. Always check RSVPs and invites since they will most likely contain all necessary details about the event. 

Ask Friends or Family

If you share mutual friends with the person, you can ask them. Ask your friends not to tell them if it is a surprise. If you also have meaningful connections with their family members, approach them and ask for the person’s date of birth. 

Most people do not mind sharing a family member’s DOB, especially when they know and trust the person asking. Most times, they will appreciate your thoughtfulness and willingly share the information. 

Find out What They Love to Do

Another discreet strategy is to find out their hobbies. Note their interests. Perhaps they are a fan of a specific sports team or a wrestling duo. Do they love a particular band and have bought tickets to see the band play? People often do things that make them happy on their birthdays. If you find their hobbies, you can connect the dots. 

Ask Their Colleagues

man and woman having a conversation

Some workplaces have birthday calendars for employees and will often celebrate each employee on their birthday. If the person has an employee they are close to, you can ask them.

Check Their Documents

Birth certificates, driver’s licenses, and voter’s cards have birth dates on them. You can check these documents discreetly to know your friend’s birthday. However, checking people’s official documents or calendars may breach their privacy. Do not attempt this unless necessary and the person would not mind. 

Check Calendars and Notes on Their Phones

Some people save their dates of birth on their calendar app. You may be lucky to find it. You can also check the person’s journal. Again, these methods breach people’s privacy, even if you are a family member. Use them if everything else fails, and you cannot ask them directly. 

Ask Indirect Questions

Ask indirect questions like, “How did your last birthday go?” Can you send me pictures of your last birthday? You do not look like a person who takes pictures.” “What is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for you on your birthday?” These questions will lead to conversations, and the person will eventually reveal the birthday or create an opening where you can casually ask for their birthday without suspicion. 


Birthdays are fulfilling and even more meaningful when the people we care about celebrate us. When you find someone’s birthday, it is best to gift them what they like, not what you prefer. No matter how small a gift is, it is crucial that it comes from a thoughtful place.


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